Just finished mediation with the EX around our parent time with our son Jack. Going through the legalities, with my precious son in the middle, is soul stirring. I had to swallow hard and pull up my big girl panties. Super difficult to have to negotiate with my abuser. I don’t like him and the last thing I want is him in my sons life. So this was a very important meeting for me, to see if we could cut back on the month and a half visiting time he gets in the summer. I couldn’t wrap my mind around Jack being away with him for that long. This mediation was because we filed a motion to amend the petition.
I wish I was more versed in the politics that have under-minded me throughout my divorce and custody hearings. The underlying politics that are present in the legal system are not intuitive for me. Today was my lawyers time to shine. We had hired him and had been paying him to represent our best interests. As mediation began, I was told David’s summer parent time will not be reduced, by the mediator. That was a hard truth to swallow and I didn’t know what to say. My lawyer didn’t help me any and seemed to support the mediator. There was no avenues for me to go down to accomplish my goal of less summer parent time with David. I couldn’t throw a fit and stalk off. I had to suck it up and continue on with the mediation. I was forced to compromise, and it hurt. The rest of the mediation was dimmed by what had occurred, leaving me with all kinds of anxiety and hurt. Now I’ll need to unravel the tangly web of past trauma, distrust, and ego to co- parent with him. I’ve left the pool of civility a long time ago and now I must wade back in. How do I balance the protective, instinctual Mom in me, and work it out with my EX?
I found this article on co parenting that is really good. Check it out here.